A colleague of mine likes to complain about everything. She sees the negative in everything and rarely notices any positive thing in life. Complaining a lot is not healthy, and the biggest problem is when you don't realize that you complain and live in denial.
“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
I realized it was getting into me. And that I have to do something. So, first I stopped linking that person to "complaining", reminding myself of all the other aspects of her personality.
When I see her complaining, I put the "I don't care" look. I don't argue, I don't show I am upset. I just listen.
If I knew that I will see that person often, I would've wrote her an email expressing my feelings and trying to help her stop complaining. But because I don't see her much, I didn't see the need to do so.
What helps also is having a 3 years old boy in the house. And whenever I am with her, I keep thinking of my boy and find lot of similarities between the two. That's when I recharge myself with lots of patience.
One last advice that I found helpful is not being with that person alone. When we are in groups, I don't feel the tension anymore and I tend to engage with other conversations.
One of the random acts of kindness ideas can be "Complain less". So, stop being negative about a friend or colleague who complain a lot, and start seeing the positive in them.
Try it! Go 24 hours without complaining. Not even once. Then watch your life start to CHANGE! This will improve the quality of your life! Gratitude is also a great transformer of misery, but we will talk about that in the next article.
Do you complain a lot? Or do you know someone who does? Share with us your ideas on how to deal with that.
“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
I realized it was getting into me. And that I have to do something. So, first I stopped linking that person to "complaining", reminding myself of all the other aspects of her personality.
When I see her complaining, I put the "I don't care" look. I don't argue, I don't show I am upset. I just listen.
If I knew that I will see that person often, I would've wrote her an email expressing my feelings and trying to help her stop complaining. But because I don't see her much, I didn't see the need to do so.
What helps also is having a 3 years old boy in the house. And whenever I am with her, I keep thinking of my boy and find lot of similarities between the two. That's when I recharge myself with lots of patience.
One last advice that I found helpful is not being with that person alone. When we are in groups, I don't feel the tension anymore and I tend to engage with other conversations.
One of the random acts of kindness ideas can be "Complain less". So, stop being negative about a friend or colleague who complain a lot, and start seeing the positive in them.
Try it! Go 24 hours without complaining. Not even once. Then watch your life start to CHANGE! This will improve the quality of your life! Gratitude is also a great transformer of misery, but we will talk about that in the next article.
Do you complain a lot? Or do you know someone who does? Share with us your ideas on how to deal with that.
By Heidi Shebaro
Founder of "The Kindness Project in the Middle East", a teacher and a blogger
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